"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."

"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

"What if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder."

"Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"#3530. That which does not appear to exist is to be regarded as if it did not exist."

"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own."

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

"It was never what I wanted to buy that held my heart's hope. It was what I wanted to be."

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."