"An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness."

"A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join."

"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate."

"Editor: a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to seperate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed."

"Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do."

"To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time."

"People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust."

"Continual improvement is an unending journey."

"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, and to work, and to play, and to look up at the stars and sun."

"It was never shameful to learn from any teacher things that are useful to know."

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else."