"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'."

"Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right."

"We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi."

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."

"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

"That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."

"The classes that wash most are those that work least."

"One can pass on responsibility, but not the discretion that goes with it."

"If a man hasn't got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has the worse for his patient."

"On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory."

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men."